Short Hot Poem

My hand moves slowly
Your flesh feels hot to the touch
Your pressed deep inside

Gripping your body
Pulling at ourselves for lust
I’m wet with pleasure

Wrapped and unwrapped
Tangled and twisted within
Pleasure is unstoppable

Vocal I exclaim
From the depth of my soul
Passion that lies deep

Deeper you go
More wetness flows from within
Tighter I become

Release of passion
Throbbing you impale me
Quicker and faster

You explode and flow
Hot juices of your liquid
Deep within my cave

Never letting go
Holding on until the end
Collapse of desire

To still want feeling
Of never ending passion
Only to begin

Again

3 Comments

  1. G

    This is delicious! Love it!

  2. Nada

    It is a nice piece, though I was expecting a little more after reading your tweet. There are some shifts that don’t appeal to me.
    Like here:
    “You explode and flow
    Hot juices of your liquid
    Deep within my cave”

    ‘you explode’ is one thing but the juices will flow.. the other person doesn’t “make” them flow, if you get my meaning. Also, no need to say ‘juices of your liquid’ – any kind of juice would have to be liquid.. even if it is sticky or whatever.. The shift in these two lines bugged me.
    I loved the cave image though.

    Suggestion: “You explode…
    Your hot juices flow
    Deep within my cave”.

    I hope you have more naughtiness up your sleeve, or on your blog.
    Keep on writing

    • Thank you for your critique, I will take your suggestions into consideration the next time I write. I guess you could say I was trying to fill the syllable requirements for the haiku.

      I hope you do come back and visit my blog and see what other tasty items I post.

      ~Victoria

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